So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
