What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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