I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
