So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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