cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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