let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
