I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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