idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's get the cat blown out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
