I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
