How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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