he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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