is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize