and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
