So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
