we have pet lesbian snakes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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