Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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