yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
