It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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