Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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