Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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