every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
