I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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