I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
