I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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