does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize