How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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