Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
