someone owes me an orgasm
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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