dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
