I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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