do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
