ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
