i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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