They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
