Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
