By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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