You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
