You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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