the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude. I can hear the air.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize