Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
