my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my shit smells like andre
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
