We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope mine doesn't look like that
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
