singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Quick, to the slutcave!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
