been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
