My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
