She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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