cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
