I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
