idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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