Your dad touched me again.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
