I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
