ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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