Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
