He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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