just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
