something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
