WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
