i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The power of my boobs compel you
The Olympian is in my bed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
