I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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