You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
