lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
3pm strippers are depressing
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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