I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
