She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have aggressive nipples.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
