Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize