This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
