There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize